“ I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.

I knew what I was looking for, I searched my Bible finally finding it in the book of Romans, Chapter 7 verse 15 and following. I’ve called it the Saul/Paul Theory. So many times I ask myself, “Why do I do what I don’t want to.”

Bear with me. I need you to read this. Don’t get frustrated, don’t really try to understand it, just read it, then read it again. It will hit you.

“ I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.

And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.

For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.

Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. So I find this law at work:

Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me.

For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?

Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.” Romans 7:14-25

In reading these verses repeatedly, different aspects have popped out each time. I bold and italics them in this post.

I know that I belong to Jesus. I know He is my Savior and Lord and that my faith is in Him. I am saved by His Grace. He died on a cross so that I might live a life forgiven. He is with me in all things and all places.

However, we live in a fallen sinful world and it runs rampant around us. We have so many choice each and every day to do what is right, or to compromise. Paul questioned: “why do I do?”

I have laundry piled up to my knees, dirty dishes stacked on the counter, a floor that need sweeping and mopping, a garage that should be cleaned…the list is unending, and yet, I do not do what I want to do.

I have these things to do but I do not do them. I choose to watch TV or take a nap. Why do I do not do what I know I need to do?

I have the gumption and the desire, until I am faced with the task. Why should I do it all? Why can’t I stay caught up? Then the reality hits, I look around and I shut down. I choose not to do what I know.

Procrastination? Frustration? Depression? Yes, yes and yes.

How do I step into what I should do from what I do not want to do?

I must recognize who I am living this life for. Is it for me, my kids, my family? In part yes. But they can disappoint, they can neglect or ignore the effort. I must come to realize it is Christ I’m here to please. It is Christ I do what I know to do for. It is because of Him I have all I do.

When I do my work for Christ, it is pleasing. It is worthy. I do it to glorify Him and thank Him for all he has given me. When I look at this part of life, the dirty clothes, dishes, floors, the mundane aspects, and I do them for Him, I then know why I do what I do, it becomes very clear.

We live in this world but we are not of it. We are called to so much more in Christ. Will I always wrestle with the Saul/Paul theory? Yes! Do I have hope that my sinful nature is overshadowed by the Grace of Christ, most assuredly.

When you find yourself doing what you do not want to do. Know that you can turn to Christ, call out to Him, and He will guide you to do what you know you should do. It will become very clear.