Evaluation

Trinity Cemetery New York City

Greetings, I must type quickly my goal is to post each day for the next
year. We will call this the 22nd even though it posts on the 23rd. Bonus; you
get to read two in one day.

Today is my birthday, well at this point in time on the East Coast it is
about over. I think with every birthday we look at our lives, evaluate the past
year. Have we accomplished the goals we may have set? Have we lived to
influence, encourage or support others? Have we been the best we can in all we
do? Today was an odd day. Yes I celebrated another year of life, but I also
took a look at who I am, where I am, and what I am. I must say, the view ain’t
pretty in a few of the areas. But, it is really not for me to worry about when
you think about it. And most of you know I think about everything.

There are moments I have failed, and moments of triumph. Contemplative days
as well as carefree ones. Days I have not been very likeable and days when I
have loved with all my heart. I take this inventory of life on New Years and my
birthday, I promise myself I will change, I will work on it, be better,
but alas. I am human, I am full of sin, and I can be ugly. It doesn’t always
work out. I my case I often have grandiose ideas and plans and lose sight of
them. I’m pretty sure we all have at one time or another. Thankfully, we don’t
have to wallow in the failure.

We have a God who loves us, who created us. A God who forgives us,
no questions asked no records of the past on file. It is difficult for me
to wrap my mind around at times. I am like dirt, filthy in humanity,
buried in the world, six feet under you might say, barley able to see Him, not
by His doing, but mine. And that is where the catch is. He wants the best for
me. So do I, but, as I said, a human.  



Who taught the sun where to stand in the morning? There is a song that comes to mind
when I think that I am the “be all” to my life, thinking I can control it
or change it in my own strength. There are several songs actually
but Nicole C. Mullen sings, “Redeemer” the words,


Who told the ocean you can only
come this far? 


 Who showed the moon where
to hide ’til evening?


Whose words alone can catch a
falling star?


Well I know my Redeemer lives I know my Redeemer lives:


All of creations testify let
this, life within me cry I know my Redeemer lives, yeah.


The very same God that spins things in orbit runs to the weary, the worn
and the weak


 And the same gentle hands
that hold me when I’m broken


They conquered death to bring me victory

Now I know my Redeemer lives I know my Redeemer lives


Let all creations testify Let
this life within me cry I know my Redeemer,

He lives to take away my shame and
He lives forever, I’ll proclaim


That the payment for my sin was the precious life He gave

But now He’s alive and there’s an
empty grave.


And I know my Redeemer lives I know my Redeemer lives


Let all creations testify Let
this life within me cry I know my Redeemer,


I know my Redeemer lives”


How in the world can I think I can do anything on my own? Read the first
part of the song again, and think about it. Whoa! I love the ocean, and the
night sky, and the stars. But, I never totally, completely thought about it all
being put together and orchestrated the way God has done it. Not until I heard
this song, really heard it in my heart. He doesn’t need to but look, proof,
evidence, control, love. Wow! I stand in awe and His majesty, His artistry, His
passion.


For me it is easy to write the words that can paint a picture. Not nearly as
beautiful and amazing as God, but you see, it is He in me. It is who He has
created me to be, the gifts, the passion, the love, the selflessness at times.
He lives in me. The grave is empty.

When we try to go it on our own, try to plan, and plot, and stand in our own
strength we leave no room for Him. The hope and saving grace is He lives, He
lives in me. With Christ in me, God and the Holy Spirit there is no room for me
to run things. I have to learn to let go, to follow His leading.


This year, I have a feeling that writing everyday is going to be a good
thing. A growth opportunity. I am anxious for God to start new in me, to fill
me consistently, to remain constant in His word, and continually let Him lead,
guide and direct all that I am and do.

Amen



2 comments

  1. Thanks for the post! I am looking forward to reading daily and watching God at work in and through you! :0)
    Oh….. And I LOVE that song!!!!

    Like

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